All is fair in love - Part 2

I had a convenient alibi of being in another city to not attend the wedding despite Sonia's sincere and repeated requests to attend. Reality was even if I were in the same city, I would not have attended. I had this feeling of hurt and being backstabbed. I thought Sonia owed an explanation. How could she marry a person who brought her ill repute if she was helped without her knowledge? I didnt want to raise wrong questions and be the spoiler at someone's wedding.In fact it later turned out that nobody from the office attended. Sonia and Neeraj had not invited anyone except me. On the other hand it seemed like a scenario right out of bollywood movies and I was to later learn Neeraj did aggressive wooing and after all his crime was that he could go to the extent of self destruction for his love. It was not long when Sonia had the twinkle of love in her eyes. A twinkle of light so strong; it blinded reason.

Sonia was 22 and Neeraj just 6 months elder to her. Like any girl her age she had her dreams of marriage.She was from a middle class family of Karnal but adapted quick to big city life. She was self-made. A rare lady engineer from her town, in sleepy 90s, she had funded her own Engg education through a loan as her father couldn't afford. She was brilliant in studies and her teacher advised her to take loan. She took any training in the company also seriously and was soon a hot professional in all ways possible. She started earning, and earning well at that. Her classmates had all fallen by the wayside so early in life. But she was an achiever, an alpha girl what with her immaculate manners, stunning beauty, a nice job at 21 and no vices. Life was good.

And then, love happened! Next, marriage. Now, she was funding her own marriage too as Neeraj was from an affluent family in upmarket Gurgaon and their status meant a basic minimum social obligations, even though they didnt specifically ask for dowry. At 22 and with stars in her eyes, small town parents who didnt know better than her, little guidance, no social circle, new big city and Neeraj's love to support- I now piece it all together in hindsight - the light that was to cause twinkle in her eyes, soon made her behave like a deer blinded by headlights and just doing her best to avoid a wreck.

Neeraj was in awe of Sonia. Totally smitten. And he had his way with her as well as with his parents. Her parents were always game- small town, too meek, "ladkiwale". If not anyone else. their own daughter seemed to know ways of the modern world more than them. Sonia took a loan of Rs 4 Lakhs for marriage to add to her father's meagre savings. Her edcuational loan had dwindled fast due to her decent job and promotion and she could write off that in another year. And then, now they would be two earning members and she would have the security of a family she could call her own. It made sense to have a memorable wedding.

Engagement, wedding, honeymoon: life was moving in fast lane. Sonia and Neeraj went to Singapore for honeymoon and she was ecstatic with his love and a whole new world, literally and metaphorically.  She flashed her pics on facebook and her status message read, "Bliss.....unlimited". A year and a half passed and sometime during the period they moved out of Neeraj's parents house- like most couples today- to stay independently and closer to their place of work. During my next visit to the city, I and my wife decided to meet the newlywed couple since we couldnt make it to the wedding earlier. They both came to pick us up in a plush Toyota Camry and my wife was sure impressed. When we reached the house it was a very warm reception but my wife started picking up some clues on the couple. On our way back, she said, " They are not pulling along well it seems."

"Why do you say so?"
"I don't know much but from the way her kitchen was, I think so."
"What there?" I always trusted my wife's senses on such matters and was curious.
"See, she doesn't have basics like frig and cabinets.No maid. Not even curtains in rooms. They both earn and yet so. They never spoke of themselves in such manner that made me feel they share a certain chemistry. And the boy. He seems to be suffering from an inferiority complex."
Hmmm.

Few days later I happened to visit both of them again. I called Neeraj and he said let us meet in D'Spirit. But isnt that a pub? He said yeah, the place is near Sonia's office and she recommends it as pretty cool at that.

We met at D'spirit. It wasn't long before Sonia was knocked out; sozzled to the point of embarrassment. I was left bewildered how quickly she had adapted to big city ways.

Sonia called the very next morning to apologize for her behavior. I said I am not offended but worried.
"Is everything okay?", I asked to assure myself.
Silence.
"I mean are you happy with Neeraj."
Silence.
"Hmmmm. Its okay, may be we will talk later."
"Sir, gimme a moment. I will call you back."

It seemed she took little longer and my guess from the tone of her last words was that she was crying after she cut the call. She called as promised.

I was not prepared for a tsunami of emotions, problems and tears that came my way in over an hour long call. The in-laws weren't too happy with the small town status of Sonia's family. " What have you done for us?" was a frequent barb at her. "Of what good is your job if you make me do household work." her Ma-in-law said. In anger she gave her savings to MIL to buy peace. Expectedly, such peace didn't last long. Soon, Sonia went for an abortion at insistence of her MIL, since MIL refused to look after the baby financially or physically. And cautioned Sonia to continue the job lest she defaults on her loans. They had a showdown and Sonia and Neeraj moved out. But that didn't end her problems, only increased. To begin with, there were enhanced financial needs- rent or travel in a big city is not cheap.

Neeraj was the only son of his parents. Ever since they moved out, all Sonia ever did over a weekend was to meet her in laws as she was the one who "separated their son from them". Penance? Her life was just office during weekdays and during weekend she performed the role of long travel to her in laws place and behave like a bahu. In what may be termed as an indirect dowry, she took loan to fund her father in law's car by buying it in Neeraj's name, since Neeraj always wanted to fulfil his dad's dream of owning a Camry. And that meant three concurrent loans on her. In fact creditors came knocking often and she was scared someone would harm her as she hadnt hope in hell to repay them.I did some quick mental math and even assuming her salary was double, and given she was just paying minimum balance rolling over credit every month, she sure was unable to save a penny for another 5 years. She had be lucky to survive the credit trap that long.

I said," But you have a pretty lavish lifestyle and no kids, you both earn, you both can be more like adults you now are. Why drink in a pub for 2500 a night when you dont even have a furnished house. Why show off your Pradas and Gucci? You had them in Saharanpur? What is need for Starbucks- can you not stop coffee altogether? And in your house you lack even a frig and curtains." Sonia gave an unconvincing answer. Her logic was- whether I save or not, I dont get to keep anything. I need to gift my sister in laws and Neeraj's parents expensive foreign gifts. They only dine in upmarket restaurants and they dine only after they wine. And a dutiful son always pays.

She soon learnt to be an escapist. To have her own little stress-buster alcohol and shopping as a substitute for that. Fake lifestyle of four of them continued to escalate rapidly, but she failed to see it is all at her expense. She even continued to be dutiful daughter by buying insurance policies for her father who was nearing retirement. No wonder she exploded on call that day.

They both had 11 credit cards between them. And circular payments to pay off loans amongst the cards. The house of cards was just a gentle wind blow away from crash.

Her financial problems alone were not what bothered her. Neeraj had no social circle. they had no other  couple as friends despite close to 18 months of marriage. No neighbours known as both worked different shifts. Only social event was to meet with his sisters and their families. Sonia's family was never invited or involved anywhere. Poor them, and poor Sonia.

Sonia had resigned from her job recently due to a nasty senior who bullied her and on her complaint to HR, whole situation was messed up. And in a mess, woman always suffers. For three months she was without job and cutting corners on everything possible. "And still you spent Rs 2500 in a pub? You are heading to disaster." I felt guilty of accepting Neeraj's  invitation.

From where I was I could see it all so transparently, and it was rather all so dark to see. But early twenties is not an age to know how the credit card sharks function. Anyway, it wasnt even that a sudden cache of money would solve her problems. It required an open discussion with Neeraj.
"Can I meet him? "
"Not for two weeks. He is in US as his sister wanted him for some emergency. "
"What? so, who pays for his trip?"
" He took another loan?"
"Crazy!!!!" I said! Why am i getting into these losers' lives? They are doomed.
Sonia gave one last piece of news. She was joining a new company and would be going for training for two months to their Mumbai HO. She felt relieved, was not too difficult to guess. She seemed to be an escapist. Let me also be one. I retreated to normal life telling her the importance to meet Neeraj and asking her to limit her expenses.


"Sir, want to tell you something." Sonia pinged me on chat.
"What?"
"Sir don't know how to say."
OK. Dont say.
Silence.
"Sir." Silence follows. "Can I call you?"
"OK"
"Sir, i am in love..."
"Hello!!! Did i hear right ..what was that?"
"Sir, he is Abhilash. My senior colleague here."
"You are playing with fire."
"I know but..."
"OK. Listen, if you wish to listen to me, then do as I say. Just stop it. Else why call me?"
"Sir, you won't understand. I dont know why I told you but please don't tell Neeraj."
I was disgusted.
Till that moment I believed such lives were of  film and TV origins. I had only two words in mind - one, an adjective to qualify the other, a noun.
Royal Mess.
And another set of two words as an advice to myself.
Stay away.

There soon was to be a storm. Or was it a self-wreck!
Part 3 of "All is fair in love and war" is the concluding part. There is however another post planned to distill lessons based on reader inputs on the story, especially this part.
(This blog is based on real-life personalities and events. Suitably anonymized to protect identities)