Twilight shapes the dawn

Yuppies and the others
Young Urban Progressive Professional Indian Eves..or yuppies is what my posts are all about. But this time I am  taking a break to share a real story of two women I know,  who are anything but yuppies. Urban Indian Eves - yes. Progressive and professional - definitely, but not by your usual definition. Young- Not quite but does age matter? One of them underaged and the other overaged- both from weaker and neglected sections of societies - they deserve space on my blog above yuppies for reasons that will unfold soon below. It lacks sleaze, jealousy, drama, money, sex....mmmm...it lacks even melodrama and humor. But as with my posts, it is about the incredible human spirit. Read it as a food for soul; more for its nutritious value than for any spicy, artificial flavored, fancily named taste bud tickler that leaves a bitter aftertaste and sickness.

Kakijee, she is called by all. I don't know how she came to be called that but she was now- Kakijee, to all. She retired in 1995 as a school teacher. After four decades in same school in Ambala, she looked forward to a peaceful retirement. Back in the days of rare love marriages, Kakijee had one, and lived a charmed married life.Tragedy strikes when you plan the least for it. When her husband died in 1997, she took quite some time to pick pieces of her life back again.

An attempt
Kakijee had a son and daughter, both settled in their own married worlds in urban milieu. Kakijee was banking on staying with her Air Force officer son, who was to return and settle in Ambala after his armed services career. Her daughter-in-law was one smart yuppie and she wriggled her way out of any support 'liabilities' by picking a job in Delhi and insisting that its Delhi or nowhere- definitely not Ambala. Kakijee gave it a try by moving to Delhi but DIL didn't make life any easier for her. A third floor flat with no elevator meant Kakijee was holed up with her knee problem to merely view the world, not be part of it. Back in Ambala, she had a complete world to call her own and participate in. Delhi is unkind to elders. But Kakijee was there for her son and grandchildren. She would brave it all for them.

Unfortunately, her relationship problems kept on compounding. Her son cared but not by offending his wife. DIL possibly on purpose, ensured smart Ekta-Kapoor-serial-inspired-tricks to keep her frustrated. She refused to even let Kakijee enter kitchen when Kakijee offered to help to feel part of the family. When Kakijee's granddaughter left house for hostel, she lost her talk-partner and felt even more lonely. Caged in a pigeon-hole. After a showdown, Kakijee left for Ambala for good. At 65, she was all be herself. A bird who possibly couldnt fly. And in an empty nest.

Home again
Enter Astha in Kakijee's life..

Astha was earlier Lachcho. Lachcho the maid. Lachcho- the daughter of a maid. That was till she met Kakijee. Kakijee told me she felt that change of her name was crucial to give her an identity. "Okay", I said," but how will she get that identity?" I was soon to discover Kakijee was the creator of more than the name- Astha, the name, the identity and the personality.

Astha studied till she was aged 12 and like most in her ilk, dropped out to join burgeoning child labor force. Her mother felt Kakijee's house as safest for her and agreed to her overnight stay, Astha being full time support to Kakijee. Good money was also a motive. Kakijee was diabetic, needed help to move around given her knee problem and more medical ailments. She needed Astha. But she also had to fill her empty years and took upon herself to do what she did best- to teach.

Astha the child labor, the maid and Kakijee the malkin, would together wind up the household work quickly and then the roles changed for second half of the day. Kakijee the teacher and Astha the student took to a new relationship of tutor and the taught. Astha was first girl in her community to go on to do her class 10th. Her govt school was surprised too with her progress. She went on to do her graduation, supported by Kakijee's meagre pension funds. Astha even works part time in a computer job now.  Kakijee on her part felt wanted, important and with a mission. Something to look forward to in life. she even thumbed down her son's invite on his greh-pravesh due to Astha's exams.

A beautiful relation
Over last many years, I have been witness to the trust between both of them over my dozen odd visits. Kakijee's only relative in Ambala who sometimes helps is Ravinder. "Auntyji, car ka aap kya karoge? ?Jab chahiye ho, mujhe bata dena. I am at your service" Saying so, Ravinder took car from Kakijee, only to be there for any medical emergencies. Kakijee seemed to acquiesce to this give and take. Between her own son and Ravinder, whom could she call her own more? Sab ki apni zindagiyan hain, majboorian hain. She seemed to be wanting to reduce the guilt of her son and daughter.

These days Kakijee is worried about getting Astha a groom. There are not enough good men in that strata of society to accept sharp career growth of Astha. Men in her community marry 15 yr olds and "overqualified" Astha must be 20.

"I dont want to keep Astha now." Kakijee said during my last visit.
"Why? all ok?" I asked.
"She should not be doing this household work now with her graduation nearing completion. It is demeaning and not helping her in her marriage plans."
"But....." I paused as we both knew what was said and left unsaid. I didn't have a good ethical reason to stop Kakijee.
"Let go" she was firm. Kakijee must let go to let the flowers bloom on seeds sowed. Even against her own selfish interest.
I wonder what destiny has planned next for her.

Endnote
I wonder, how much we value the blessings of the elderly. Sometimes we leave invaluable love for others to benefit from. For Astha's luck and changed life- she has to thank Kakijee's children.

Abandoned elders. Exploited child labor. But then, the blind and the lame are the best of friends. How to define this relationship between Kakijee and Astha? Call it symbiotic or being practical- but isn't it the most beautiful one? It has given them both a renewed faith in life- trust, human values, self-respect- a meaning and purpose to live. And, i think they both cock a snook at the selfish and conceited society that excluded them,  condemning them to a lesser life.

I always maintain our diseases and ailments are psycho-somatic. Kakijee has many more years in her life because she has chosen to add life to her years. Left in a cage, she would have died- first in spirit and then in body. She doesn't need a son to take her to hospital. She needed a dignity and purpose in life to overcome any need to go to hospital in the first place.

Be positive! Life is beautiful.